I started this blog to share my story – and that is what I am going to do now.
I’ll be writing this series over the next several weeks, so stay tuned for more.
Please feel free to ask questions and make comments.
I may only hit the surface throughout these posts, so if you’d like to know more just ask. I’m happy for you to share this with anyone who you think needs to read it.
I hope that you will find something to take away from my story. . .
Do you know teenagers who say it’ll never happen to me? I was that girl. . .
Just a few weeks shy of my 16th birthday, I found out I was pregnant.
Lots of thoughts go through your mind when you find yourself pregnant, especially when you didn’t plan for it. What do I do? Keep the baby? Get an abortion?
I didn’t feel right about abortion. But I wasn’t ready to be a mom.
I definitely wasn’t ready to grow up yet. I still had two years of high school left. I had friends to hang out with and parties to go to – I’m talking big plans here!
I couldn’t allow a little thing like pregnancy to disrupt these plans, after all my birthday was coming up and Dad was getting me a truck – telling my parents I was going to have a baby might mess that up. So I kept the pregnancy secret. For three months.
(In all seriousness, the real reason I was so inclined to hide my predicament from my parents was because I was terrified about what they would say. I didn’t want to disappoint them, or get in trouble. I remember the phrase ‘I am so dead’ playing over and over again in my mind.)
My best friend and my boyfriend were the only people who knew my secret. The father was supportive, but that didn’t make the fact I was expecting any better, or easier.
Once school was back in session, rumors of my pregnancy spread like wildfire. Some thought it was a lie I made up for attention. I’m sure there was lots of other talk. But I couldn’t let it get to me, I had to hold my head up and keep going. Falling to pieces was not an option.
Living life with a secret hanging over you is no easy task. I had to lie continuously to keep up the charade that everything was normal. I became a master at wearing a mask.
As the months dragged by I knew I was wasting time. At some point or another everyone would find out. Unless I ran away. I seriously considered it. But I had no where to go, and besides growing a baby makes you hungry – who would feed me if I left?!
I would have to tell my parents . . . but the thought of confessing to them made me feel sick (or was that the morning sickness?) Instead I told my older sister – she would know what to do.
‘You have to tell Mom and Dad.’
Not what I wanted to hear. But she was right. We made a plan to tell my parents.
Part II coming soon! If you don’t want to miss it, make sure to subscribe!